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Austin, TX - To save your marriage, get over yourself! We are a narcissistic society and it's getting worse, says Dr. Larry Bugen, a psychologist. Technology, in part, is to blame. You can post the minutiae of your day to Facebook and Twitter. In-depth and in-person conversations have been pushed aside for texting incomplete sentences; and much of the self-help movement encourages people to "follow your dreams."
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Posting your daughter's honor roll status on Facebook seems innocent enough. You're proud. Your friends and family can bask in her glory. Everyone's a winner, right?
Maybe not, says Austin, Texas-based psychologist Larry Bugen, whose new book, "Stuck on Me: Missing You … Getting Past Self-Absorption to Find Love" (The American College of Forensic Examiners, $19.95), warns that crafting an online image for our children may set them up for a life of self-absorption and undermine their ability to relate to others. "When does a healthy interest in yourself start morphing into self-absorption and eventually into full-blown narcissism?" he asks. We chatted with Bugen about child-rearing in our connected world.
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"Stuck on Me: Missing You..." by Larry A. Bugen, Ph.D. (ACFEI Media) (ISBN 978-0982212134) has been awarded as a finalist in the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards in the "Relationships" category.

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We are a narcissistic society -- and it's getting worse thanks, in part, to technology. You can post the minutiae of your day on Facebook and Twitter for the world to see; in-depth and in-person conversations have been pushed aside for texting incomplete sentences; and much of the self-help movement encourages people to "follow their dreams!" and “don't take no for an answer!"
But when does a healthy interest in yourself start morphing into self-absorption and eventually into full-blown narcissism? And how does it effect our relationships, and ultimately, marriage?
A psychologist specializing in narcissism believes today's parents are unwittingly raising a generation of self-absorbed malcontents by publishing the minutiae of their children's daily lives in blogs and documenting their every move on Facebook and YouTube.
Narcissism, named after the Greek god Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection, is characterized by extreme ego-centrism and selfishness.
Dr. Larry A. Bugen knows narcissism. He was raised by a narcissistic mother who traumatized her family for decades with her suicide attempts, hospitalizations, rage and manipulations. The Texas psychologist believes narcissism is the No. 1 obstacle to successful relationships.
Read Full Article @ TheIntelligencer.net »
These days, it seems like it's not enough to have a marriage that lasts. Modern couples want to get something from their relationship.
In fact, soaking up knowledge and racking up new experiences via our partner, which scientists refer to as "self-expansion," can lead to a more satisfied, committed relationship, according to a recent article in The New York Times.
Read Full Article @ Self.com »

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AUSTIN, Texas - We are a narcissistic society - and it's getting worse thanks, in part, to technology. You can post the minutiae of your day on Facebook and Twitter for the world to see; in-depth and in-person conversations have been pushed aside for texting incomplete sentences; and much of the self-help movement encourages people to "follow your dreams!" and "don't take no for an answer!"
But when does a healthy interest in yourself start morphing into self-absorption and eventually into full-blown narcissism? And how does it affect our relationships, and ultimately, marriage?
Clinical psychologist Dr. Larry A. Bugen answers these questions and more in his upcoming book, Stuck on Me...Missing You: Getting Past Self-Absorption to Find Love (publisher, Feb. 2011).
Dr. Bugen has witnessed the effects of narcissism firsthand. His mother was a chronic narcissist, traumatizing her family for decades with her suicide attempts, hospitalizations, rage and manipulations.
And in 30 years of counseling married couples, he has seen self-absorption taken to a whole new level. In fact, he says that narcissism is the greatest obstacle to successful marriage therapy.
"Two great force fields govern our lives: self-absorption and a need for intimacy," says Dr. Bugen. "We're pre-wired for both and have to seek balance between the two. Care of self must be in harmony with care for others. Without that balance, relationships eventually fall apart."
In Stuck on Me...Missing You, Dr. Bugen further explains this slippery slope: Unbridled self-interest gradually becomes self-absorption; unbridled self-absorption gradually becomes narcissism. This self-centeredness - that occurs when our love for others becomes blurred by a preoccupation with oneself - jeopardizes the secure love that a marriage needs to survive.
To help couples strengthen and even repair their unions, Dr. Bugen developed a questionnaire for assessing intimacy in a relationship called the "Bugen Adult Intimacy Scale" and presents "Six Gifts," or personal characteristics that romantic partners can cultivate in order to keep narcissism at bay, such as humility, forgiveness and vision.
Larry Bugen, Ph.D is a nationally recognized psychologist, photographer and writer. In private practice in Austin, Texas, for more than 30 years, he is also the author of Love and Renewal: A Couple's Guide to Commitment and Death and Dying: Theory, Research and Practice. For more information, please visit www.larrybugen.com
To schedule an interview, please contact Elaine Krackau at elaine@prbythebook.com | 512.501.4399, x 704
###"I recommend this book to anyone who would like to read a "love story" about how one may transform from self-absorption to learning how to love, one of the most complicated and important of all endeavors."
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Melba Vasquez, PhD, ABPP American Psychological Assoc. President 2011 |
"In these broken times -- when we are challenged personally, interpersonally, nationally, and internationally -- this book is a must read."
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Ambassador Pam Willeford Former U.S. Ambassador to Switzerland |
"Bugen challenges us to look deeply inside ourselves and truly confront reality; then he presents us with six wonderful "gifts," habits of the heart, providing us with the tools of transformation to mature and generous living."
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Bishop John McCarthy Diocese of Austin |