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Self-Help Books by Larry A. Bugen, Ph.D.

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Commitment is nonnegotiable.

Everything in a loving relationship is up for grabs except for that special pact that each of you will not abandon the other. Such a pact or covenant is easily threatened by the consuming outrage, quiet desperation, or detached numbness of disenchantment. For many of us, commitment is like a winning hand, a full house or royal flush that we play close to the vest on the condition that our partners give us what we want. But this puts the cart before the horse. It is perfectly normal to expect our partners to change, but commitment must precede expectation. We must extend to our imperfect partners the reassurance that, although we may have painful grievances about our relationships, we are going to stay in order to work them out. Since many of us are secretly afraid that we are not worthy enough to be loved, it is most comforting to know that we won't be abandoned as soon as disenchantment begins to take its toll on our relationships.

This book will show you:

  1. The natural psychological processes that cause us to need and expect more from love relationships than they can give.
  2. The patterns of disenchantment that couples go through and why we get stuck in them.
  3. The tremendous costs of disenchantment for our physical health and what we can do about it.
  4. Concrete techniques for getting past the negativity of disenchantment and building mature, covenant love.

I dedicate this book to the renewal of your love.


Larry Bugen's Love & Renewal is an incredibly wise, compassionate, and intimate exploration of what it means really to love someone over time.

-- Robert A. Johnson
Author of "We, Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love

Finally we have available a systematic approach for couples who want to heal their relationship. Bugen's step-by-step renewal process may be the most valuable work of it's kind.

-- Mathew McKay, Ph.D.
Author of "Self-Esteem, When Anger Hurts"
and "Messages: The Communication Skills Book
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"I recommend this book to anyone who would like to read a "love story" about how one may transform from self-absorption to learning how to love, one of the most complicated and important of all endeavors."

-- Melba Vasquez, PhD, ABPP
American Psychological Assoc.
President 2011

"In these broken times -- when we are challenged personally, interpersonally, nationally, and internationally -- this book is a must read."

-- Ambassador Pam Willeford
Former U.S. Ambassador
to Switzerland

"Bugen challenges us to look deeply inside ourselves and truly confront reality; then he presents us with six wonderful "gifts," habits of the heart, providing us with the tools of transformation to mature and generous living."

-- Bishop John McCarthy
Diocese of Austin
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